Will it end?
by ZendayaBooty
Summary: Emily is really hurt because she miss her Ex-girlfriend Zendaya. She wanna tell Zendaya, but Zendaya have moved on. Will this be the end or will they make up?
1. Chapter 1

I love her, I know I do, but I just couldn't do it anymore. All of the hiding, all of the heart attacks because her parents suddenly came home, all of the lying and most of all I just hated all of the acting. I hated that every time we were around someone we had to act like we were just friends, but I couldn't anymore. I couldn't act like I didn't love the girl that made my heart beat like crazy! The girl that took my breath away every time I looked at her! The girl that could make me weak by just looking at me! The girl who gave me so many butterflies every time she touched me! So we ended it. It hurt. It still hurts. I miss her so much every day. I miss being the reason she laughed, which was the most amazing sound in the world. I miss being the reason she smiled, which was the most amazing thing to see. I miss being the reason she blushed, which was the cutest thing in the world. I miss talking to her every day, I miss someone I could always talk to. I miss her. I miss her so much. I need her. I need her like a heart needs a beat.

In the start it was easy. I thought "wow maybe it is easy to get over her" so I started to smile again. I started to actually feel something again. Then I started to date other people. I thought that after 6 months I was finally over her. Then she started dating. And it hurt.

I was so mad at myself, no I AM so mad at myself. I convinced myself that I was over her, but then I realized... it was all pretend. I pretended that my face didn't light up when she entered the room. I pretended not to be mad and jealous when I saw her with someone else. I pretended that I didn't look forward to seeing her every day. I pretended that I wasn't hurt when she started dating someone else. But it was all a lie. I was HURT, a lot. And every day when I pretended, it tore me apart. And now I know that I miss her more than I realized.

I want to feel her heart beat again. I want to taste her lips again. Just one last time. God damn what am I still doing here, in my own house, alone. I need to see her.

I am in the car, thinking about what I am going to tell her. What if her boyfriend is over? What if she wouldn't let me come in? I am so close to turn around and just go back to crying myself to sleep. But this is it, the back of no return.

I am at her house now, crap what have I gotten myself into. I look in the driveway and what is the first thing I see? Her boyfriend's car. So I back around. I run back to my car, crying. I don't know why I cry so much. It have been 1 and a half year, wasn't I supposed to be over her by now? I am sitting in my car with my head in my hands thinking, why? Why do I have to be so fucking much in love with her? Why do I have to get hurt over every little thing? And why did I even fall for her in the first place? But in another way…. How could you NOT fall for her? She was perfect. I still remember the first day I meet her. It was a Saturday morning, and my mom had forced me to go to a concert my little brother was performing at. I didn't wanna go, I just wanted to waste my life on the internet at home. When we got to the concert, I was bitchy the whole time. I regretted so hard that I said yes to it. Until I heard her, it was the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. It was raspy and sweet at the same time. But the best of it was when I looked up. The first thing I saw was her eyes, they have been my favorite thing about her ever since. Then I saw her hair, and the way it fell down over her shoulders. I saw her beautiful smile, which made me feel something special, almost like I was comfortable by just looking at it. Then the concert ended and I knew that I needed to find this girl. So I did. I looked for her everywhere, and I found her. She was sitting backstage on her phone. She looked so perfect, her hair was now tied up and it looked even more perfect than before. I went over to her and sat in the chair beside her.

My thoughts got interrupted by a car. Her boyfriend left…. OK this is it, I am doing this. I opened the car door and started making my way up to her door. OMG why is this so hard?. I stopped right before the door, Take a deep breath and do it is the only thing I keep saying to myself. I knocked. Omg did I just do that? I am freaking out, what do I do, do I run or do I ju-

"Hey" She said as she open the door, she is beautiful as always. I can't say anything. I just stand there with my mouth open, it feels like it isn't possible for anything to leave my mouth. "H-hey" I say. "What are you doing here?" "uhm… Oh I just.. uhm, c-can I come in?" I ask awkwardly.

**ZENDAYA POV.**

"uhm… Oh I just.. uhm, c-can I come in?"

"uhm… sure" it is so long ago I have actually talked to her, like a year and a half. When we broke up I was hurt. I just couldn't get myself together. I missed her every day. I cried myself to sleep because I missed her, or I did the nights I actually slept. But now I has moved on, and she has too. Or I think she has? Ok this is really awkward. I opened the door and followed her into the living room.

"Now, what are you doing here?" she just looked on the floor with her mouth open. It is like she wanna say something but she don't know what to say. "have you been crying?" I ask her because I noticed that her eyes are more puffed that they are used to. I move over to beside her and place my arm around her. Just because we broke up doesn't mean I don't care about her anymore. "I just…" she starts. "Ok listen Z don't freak out but…. I think I still have feelings for you"

WAIT? WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY

I move away from here in shock. "and why do you fell need to tell me that" I snap at her. "I told you not to freak out, please listen" "I DON'T FUCKING WANNA LISTEN TO YOU" I yell, wow I didn't know I could yell that loud. "please" she ask and starts to tear up. "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DARE TO BREAK MY HEART AND THEN JUST COME HERE AND TELL ME THAT YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME?" I take a breath and starts to yell again. "I HAVE MOVED ON, OK, I AM HAPPY NOW AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO COME HERE AND RUIN MY MOOD" nothing. She says nothing. "really? This is how you feel" she ask as she slowly stand up. Ok I didn't expect that reaction from her. "you know what z? I ca-" "don't call me that anymore" I snap. "ok then, you know what? I came here to tell you because I fucking wanted you so bad! And because it hurt, it still does! And I just needed to tell someone before it tore me apart" I didn't say anything and gave her a 'continue' look. "and you are the only one who have ever listened to me, and I actually thought you would again this time. But I guess you have moved on. And I think it is time for me to do the same" I didn't even get to say something before she was storming out the door. She left me speechless, I was never speechless.

I started to tear up. But why? I have a boyfriend, I have moved on. God who am I kidding. I love her, I still do. And I miss her so much… I have convinced myself that I had moved on, that all of this 'being with a girl' is just a fase. But I don't think it is. I need her, she is the only person who make me feel comfortable and happy. But I think I just screwed up. Why? Why do I have to be such an idiot?

I miss her. I miss being in her arms, cuddled up to her side watching a movie. I miss all of her cute compliments that made me blush. I miss all of her dorky comments that made me smile really big. I miss her random kisses, actually I just miss feeling those soft lips against mine. I miss everything. And I feel so stupid because I have just realized it now.

I need to tell her, I need to tell her that I am ready to come out if that will make her happy again. Because her happiness is the only thing that matters. I want to show my love to her, in front of everyone. I want to prove to people that it is OK to be gay.

But what if she rejects me now? I basically just screamed in her head that I didn't need her anymore and that she should move on. I know her so well. So is probably on her way down to the bar so she can make out with a random stranger and get drunk. Because that's her. If she ever gets hurt, she drinks. When she is drunk, she can't control herself.

Like that one time her Ex-girlfriend dumped her. We were only friends then. We hung out all day and then late at night she was gonna meet with her girlfriend. We had decided to have a sleep over after their date. But she didn't show up. I waited 30 minutes, an hour, 2 hours. I got worried so I called her mom. She wasn't home. I went out looking for her and I found her in the bar. I took her home and she was SO drunk. So she told me everything.

I have to find her before she does something stupid!


	2. Chapter 2

I love her, I know I do, but I just couldn't do it anymore. All of the hiding, all of the heart attacks because her parents suddenly came home, all of the lying and most of all I just hated all of the acting. I hated that every time we were around someone we had to act like we were just friends, but I couldn't anymore. I couldn't act like I didn't love the girl that made my heart beat like crazy! The girl that took my breath away every time I looked at her! The girl that could make me weak by just looking at me! The girl who gave me so many butterflies every time she touched me! So we ended it. It hurt. It still hurts. I miss her so much every day. I miss being the reason she laughed, which was the most amazing sound in the world. I miss being the reason she smiled, which was the most amazing thing to see. I miss being the reason she blushed, which was the cutest thing in the world. I miss talking to her every day, I miss someone I could always talk to. I miss her. I miss her so much. I need her. I need her like a heart needs a beat.

In the start it was easy. I thought "wow maybe it is easy to get over her" so I started to smile again. I started to actually feel something again. Then I started to date other people. I thought that after 6 months I was finally over her. Then she started dating. And it hurt.

I was so mad at myself, no I AM so mad at myself. I convinced myself that I was over her, but then I realized... it was all pretend. I pretended that my face didn't light up when she entered the room. I pretended not to be mad and jealous when I saw her with someone else. I pretended that I didn't look forward to seeing her every day. I pretended that I wasn't hurt when she started dating someone else. But it was all a lie. I was HURT, a lot. And every day when I pretended, it tore me apart. And now I know that I miss her more than I realized.

I want to feel her heart beat again. I want to taste her lips again. Just one last time. God damn what am I still doing here, in my own house, alone. I need to see her.

I am in the car, thinking about what I am going to tell her. What if her boyfriend is over? What if she wouldn't let me come in? I am so close to turn around and just go back to crying myself to sleep. But this is it, the back of no return.

I am at her house now, crap what have I gotten myself into. I look in the driveway and what is the first thing I see? Her boyfriend's car. So I back around. I run back to my car, crying. I don't know why I cry so much. It have been 1 and a half year, wasn't I supposed to be over her by now? I am sitting in my car with my head in my hands thinking, why? Why do I have to be so fucking much in love with her? Why do I have to get hurt over every little thing? And why did I even fall for her in the first place? But in another way…. How could you NOT fall for her? She was perfect. I still remember the first day I meet her. It was a Saturday morning, and my mom had forced me to go to a concert my little brother was performing at. I didn't wanna go, I just wanted to waste my life on the internet at home. When we got to the concert, I was bitchy the whole time. I regretted so hard that I said yes to it. Until I heard her, it was the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. It was raspy and sweet at the same time. But the best of it was when I looked up. The first thing I saw was her eyes, they have been my favorite thing about her ever since. Then I saw her hair, and the way it fell down over her shoulders. I saw her beautiful smile, which made me feel something special, almost like I was comfortable by just looking at it. Then the concert ended and I knew that I needed to find this girl. So I did. I looked for her everywhere, and I found her. She was sitting backstage on her phone. She looked so perfect, her hair was now tied up and it looked even more perfect than before. I went over to her and sat in the chair beside her.

My thoughts got interrupted by a car. Her boyfriend left…. OK this is it, I am doing this. I opened the car door and started making my way up to her door. OMG why is this so hard?. I stopped right before the door, Take a deep breath and do it is the only thing I keep saying to myself. I knocked. Omg did I just do that? I am freaking out, what do I do, do I run or do I ju-

"Hey" She said as she open the door, she is beautiful as always. I can't say anything. I just stand there with my mouth open, it feels like it isn't possible for anything to leave my mouth. "H-hey" I say. "What are you doing here?" "uhm… Oh I just.. uhm, c-can I come in?" I ask awkwardly.

**ZENDAYA POV.**

"uhm… Oh I just.. uhm, c-can I come in?"

"uhm… sure" it is so long ago I have actually talked to her, like a year and a half. When we broke up I was hurt. I just couldn't get myself together. I missed her every day. I cried myself to sleep because I missed her, or I did the nights I actually slept. But now I has moved on, and she has too. Or I think she has? Ok this is really awkward. I opened the door and followed her into the living room.

"Now, what are you doing here?" she just looked on the floor with her mouth open. It is like she wanna say something but she don't know what to say. "have you been crying?" I ask her because I noticed that her eyes are more puffed that they are used to. I move over to beside her and place my arm around her. Just because we broke up doesn't mean I don't care about her anymore. "I just…" she starts. "Ok listen Z don't freak out but…. I think I still have feelings for you"

WAIT? WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY

I move away from here in shock. "and why do you fell need to tell me that" I snap at her. "I told you not to freak out, please listen" "I DON'T FUCKING WANNA LISTEN TO YOU" I yell, wow I didn't know I could yell that loud. "please" she ask and starts to tear up. "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DARE TO BREAK MY HEART AND THEN JUST COME HERE AND TELL ME THAT YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME?" I take a breath and starts to yell again. "I HAVE MOVED ON, OK, I AM HAPPY NOW AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO COME HERE AND RUIN MY MOOD" nothing. She says nothing. "really? This is how you feel" she ask as she slowly stand up. Ok I didn't expect that reaction from her. "you know what z? I ca-" "don't call me that anymore" I snap. "ok then, you know what? I came here to tell you because I fucking wanted you so bad! And because it hurt, it still does! And I just needed to tell someone before it tore me apart" I didn't say anything and gave her a 'continue' look. "and you are the only one who have ever listened to me, and I actually thought you would again this time. But I guess you have moved on. And I think it is time for me to do the same" I didn't even get to say something before she was storming out the door. She left me speechless, I was never speechless.

I started to tear up. But why? I have a boyfriend, I have moved on. God who am I kidding. I love her, I still do. And I miss her so much… I have convinced myself that I had moved on, that all of this 'being with a girl' is just a fase. But I don't think it is. I need her, she is the only person who make me feel comfortable and happy. But I think I just screwed up. Why? Why do I have to be such an idiot?

I miss her. I miss being in her arms, cuddled up to her side watching a movie. I miss all of her cute compliments that made me blush. I miss all of her dorky comments that made me smile really big. I miss her random kisses, actually I just miss feeling those soft lips against mine. I miss everything. And I feel so stupid because I have just realized it now.

I need to tell her, I need to tell her that I am ready to come out if that will make her happy again. Because her happiness is the only thing that matters. I want to show my love to her, in front of everyone. I want to prove to people that it is OK to be gay.

But what if she rejects me now? I basically just screamed in her head that I didn't need her anymore and that she should move on. I know her so well. So is probably on her way down to the bar so she can make out with a random stranger and get drunk. Because that's her. If she ever gets hurt, she drinks. When she is drunk, she can't control herself.

Like that one time her Ex-girlfriend dumped her. We were only friends then. We hung out all day and then late at night she was gonna meet with her girlfriend. We had decided to have a sleep over after their date. But she didn't show up. I waited 30 minutes, an hour, 2 hours. I got worried so I called her mom. She wasn't home. I went out looking for her and I found her in the bar. I took her home and she was SO drunk. So she told me everything.

I have to find her before she does something stupid!


End file.
